Do you not understand how this works?

Dude... my ad says "trade for Iphone5 or Note 2". It says TRADE. You're asking for to sell it straight up. Fine, but make me a good offer because a) I don't NEED to sell it and b) I'd really like to get the things I've listed. (I got an Iphone5 last week in the same trade). Also, when I ask what your offer is, you don't counter with "what's the least you'll take". I'd have a price already listed if I were really trying to just sell it.

Also, a word of advice - mention WTF you're trying to buy when the conversation starts.

+1405600: What about cash 1:38 AM

Me: what about it 1:39 AM

+1405600: How much would u take 1:39 AM

Me: for? you need to be more specific. 1:40 AM

+1405600: The s3 1:40 AM

Me: I guess that depends how much. I am looking mainly for a trade of the listed items. 1:42 AM

+1405600: Well cause I'm looking for a phone so I can turn my iPhone into A back up 1:43 AM

Me: not sure how that applies to me wanting a trade 1:44 AM

+1405600: Means I'm wanting to just straight out buy it 1:44 AM

Me: So what is your offer then? That's more relevant. 1:45 AM

+1405600: Well what would u take 1:46 AM

Me: Our conversation is done, im sorry you aren't understanding how this works. 1:46 AM

Comprehension...it's not in today

This genius forgot to read my ad. When he said he had, he got upset that I was being rude to him. My ad CLEARLY states if you don't like the price, don't bother contacting me. Obviously he skipped over that.

+14057082543: I have a Samsung infuse I am trying to sale. I have a had a case on it since I got it, and I also have a spare battery for it. 9:55 AM Me: Okay 9:56 AM +14057082543: Would you want to buy it? 9:56 AM Me: Sure, I believe its on the list 9:57 AM +14057082543: How much do you normally pay for them? 9:58 AM Me: 50 to 75 depending on condition 9:59 AM +14057082543: They go for 125 on Cl. Thanks though. 9:59 AM Me: They WANT 125, no one actually pays that. It's 4 generations old. If I can get a skyrocket for $150, why would someone pay $125 for a single core that can't run ICS? 10:00 AM Me: Also, the price was in my ad, did you forget to read it? 10:00 AM +14057082543: I read your ad. No reason to be rude or get defensive. 10:06 AM Me: You act like my price is surprising, but it's clearly stated in the ad. It's rude to toss a price at me when it's clearly stated. 10:06 AM +14057082543: Just delete my number if you have a problem with the price I'm asking. 10:07 AM Me: I clearly stated the prices were firm. Also clearly stated if you didn't like it, don't contact me. Guess you forgot to comprehend that. 10:07 AM

Get real, bud

Every so often (it's pretty rare) I'll get a Craigslister who tries to play smart with me, when in reality they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about:

+19186393173: Do u still have your laptop 5:24 PM Me: Yes 5:25 PM +19186393173: What is yur bottom dollar cash 5:25 PM Me: 400. 5:26 PM +19186393173: That's your asking price and I see that bit what is your bottom dollar 5:27 PM Me: 400 5:28 PM Me: Take it or leave it. I have people coming for it at 400 so I see no reason to lower it 5:28 PM +19186393173: Prices are coming down and a few more dollars I can get new with a warranty 5:29 PM Me: Not an i7 with discrete graphics 5:29 PM Me: If you don't want to pay 400 we are done talking 5:30 PM +19186393173: Can u wait till tomorrow morning 5:42 PM +19186393173: I told my son about it but he is in traffic 5:43 PM Me: Nope, I have people coming sorry 5:43 PM Me: I'll have more laptops as time goes on however 5:43 PM +19186393173: Nevermind he will go buy new 5:44 PM Me: K 5:44 PM

Seriously... Where are you going to get a quad core i7 with discrete graphics for $400 cash? I think these people see a laptop is any laptop with no discrepancies between them. Sure you went and got a new one, but it wasn't even close to what I was offering.

Scammar Grammar

So.... It's so easy to spot a scammer from a mile away. And when I do one of two things happens:

I fuck with them and lead them on until they get pissed, or
I block them immediately.

The first is way more fun:

+16463975784: Toshiba i7 Laptop! - $400.....is it still available 8:33 AM Me: What 8:33 AM +16463975784: i mean the laotop......is it still available 8:38 AM Me: What is a laotop? Is it made in Laos? 8:39 AM

And this one:   +15719693902: I am interested in purchase of this listed Vehicle. Could you tell me more about the current state of registration and the year. what is your bottom asking price. Regards. 6:48 PM Me: What vehicle 6:48 PM +15719693902: Am very sorry mean Channel Amplifier 6:51 PM Me: What is that? 6:52 PM +15719693902: Ok tell me what is the item you have on CL 6:54 PM Me: No you tell me. If you don't know what it is you can fuck off. 6:55 PM Me: Ah I remember now 6:55 PM Me: It's a picture of your mom getting f*cked by a dog 6:56 PM

Scammmammmamjammammma

+16468208114: Acer One D255E Netbook - $225 (NW OKC)....Do you still have it for sale? 10:22 AM
Me: not out of state 10:24 AM
+16468208114: i do understand your fears okay but i will be paying you before you mail out the item Okay? 10:31 AM
Me: no shipping. If you find yourself in Oklahoma you can purchase this 10:34 AM
Me: Or if you mail me $250 Cash, i will be able to ship. 10:35 AM
+16468208114: Okay. I hope is in good condition as i need this for a special purpose. buying it for my son as a birthday gift. How we do go about the payment? I am unable to meet with you now. Do you have a PayPal Account I can pay to??? let me know so that we can close the deal and i will be offering you additional $100 for the postage okay so the total price will be $350 including the shipping so can you post it out for me?10:37 AM
+16468208114: Okay. I hope is in good condition as i need this for a special purpose. buying it for my son as a birthday gift. How we do go about the payment? I am unable to meet with you now. Do you have a PayPal Account I can pay to??? let me know so that we can close the deal and i will be offering you additional $100 for the postage okay so the total price will be $350 including the shipping so can you post it out for me?10:37 AM
Me: Cash only 10:44 AM
+16468208114: i do understand your fears okay but i will be paying you before you mail out the item Okay? 10:49 AM
Me: if you send me an envelope with $250 cash, once i receive the cash i will ship the laptop to your desired address 10:52 AM
+16468208114: sorry PayPal only 11:18 AM
Me: Sorry cash only. Have a great day 11:20 AM

Again, have intentionally left the number since it's not real.

Don't know where we were meeting even though i mention it multiple times?

Seriously? I've told you like 4 times when and where? How do people think that i'll meet THEM when I'm selling stuff? last time i checked, walmart does not deliver...

10/20/12 405: Still have I phone case 5:23 PM Me: whixh one 5:24 PM 405: What ones do you got 5:28 PM 405: I was asking about the gamebpy pne 5:38 PM Me: yes I bekive I do still have it 6:50 PM 405: I wanna get it if you do 7:07 PM Me: I had aa garage sale last week so its at my friends. ill be getting that stuff from him tomorrow 7:08 PM 405: Ok great 7:10 PM
10/21/12
  405: Did you get the I phone case 11:32 AM Me: going tonight 11:33 AM Me: well this evening someyime 11:33 AM 405: Ok what time and were can I pick up 11:43 AM 405: ? 12:55 PM Me: it'll ve later after I get from my friends ill let u know. 12:56 PM 405: Ok 1:07 PM 405: Did you get them 4:51 PM Me: abkut to head up there. been cutting a tree down all day 4:52 PM 405: That's cool 4:53 PM 405: Did you get it 7:54 PM Me: yep I found it still have it. I have some more like.an otter box kinda and one with a tree on it 8:26 PM 405: Can you send pics 8:27 PM Me: not on this phone hold on 8:33 PM 405: Ok when can I get one 8:33 PM Me: tomorrow after 5pm I can mmeet at the shell on nw 16th aand Portland 8:34 PM 405: I have class till 8 8:35 PM 405: But I defiantly want one 8:40 PM Me: that's fine, text me around 8 and we'll meet 8:47 PM Me: text me when your outa class and we'll meet at that shell ill bring all 3 8:51 PM
  405: I'm out of class 8:25 PM Me: I'm on my way home, probably 8:45 8:27 PM Me: I can be at the shll. my phone is dieng, blue ford focus what do u drivw 8:28 PM 405: I don't even know we're your talking can you meet on the south 8:28 PM Me: nw 16th and Portland. there's a shell station 8:29 PM 405: Can't be there bid if you can come sw I can 8:31 PM Me: no I can't sorry. text me if you find yourself here hit me up 8:32 PM

405: I nead see the "iPhone 4/4s Gameboy Silicone Case" I bay 12:58 PM
Me: okay, I'll be off at 5 i can meet you at the shell station on Nw 16th and Portland - its still in the package though 1:00 PM
405: Ok 1:01 PM
Me: i should be off at 5, i'll text you around 4:45 to make sure, and it'll be about 5:15 or 5:30 when i get there 1:02 PM
405: Ok 1:02 PM
Me: are you still interested in the phonr case? 5:19 PM
Me: phone* case 5:19 PM
405: Yes l go 6:00 pm 5:21 PM
Me: okay ill meet you at nw 16th aand Portland and the shell station. what do you drive 5:22 PM
405: Ok 5:22 PM
Me: text me when your about 10 mins away 5:24 PM
405: Ok l go 5:53 PM
Me: what are you driving 5:54 PM
Me: ill be there in a few Minutes 5:54 PM
405: 36 and pen 5:55 PM
405: Ok etate in store now 6:09 PM

So i suspected him of not speaking English as a first language. I make mistakes too, but c'mon. He gets there and i hand him the case, and he goes "oh no phone?" no... just case "i think phone" Oh okay, sorry? the ad says CASE NOT A PHONE... anyway. stupid.

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